How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
