Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
