community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
