I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
