Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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