Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
