How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You smell like a Billy Joel song
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
