I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
