i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
