It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
