I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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