You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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