There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
50% drunk capacity currently
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
