Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
