dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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