The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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