She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
