Fuck appropriateness.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
