I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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