The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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