You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
