Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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