Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
A+ Viking dick
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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