If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
we're so committed to being not committed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
