im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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