I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Text me some of your sweat
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
