I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
