I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
