And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
