Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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