I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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