....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
