...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
