I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I color on your dick again?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
