first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
