Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
