Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
