PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
