Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
