just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
