I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
