I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
