i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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