Heybabeimwearingurpanties
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
