somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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