he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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