Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
