Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize