If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
