so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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