ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
