there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
